Women and the Shame of Sexual Abuse

By Linda Baker, R.N., CCHT, B.Msc, Master Alchemist

updated August 2026
​
The shame of sexual abuse is rooted in the long history of patriarchal societies. Patriarchal, a word taken from ancient Greek meaning “rule of the father”, is a system of governance that gives men power over women. In this system, women exist solely for men’s enjoyment, as keepers of domestic affairs and bearers of children. For generations, women have been trained to sacrifice their needs and desires for those of their husbands and families. Without rights or privilege, women had little recourse when it came to abuse and mistreatment. While many in Western societies have come a long way from those times, the patterns and beliefs continue to be carried in our DNA.

Today we applaud the “Me Too” movement with women speaking out and demanding the end of sexual harassment and abuse, but still it doesn’t mean that they are free from the chains of the past. If we have evolved, then why are sexual attacks on teenage girls followed by cyber-bullying that results in suicide on the rise? Why is it that women who report men, especially wealthy and powerful men, are still being threatened and criticized? Why are political institutions, the military, organized religions especially the Roman Catholic Church, still protecting perpetrators and allowing such abuses to continue? Excuses such as “she was drunk,” “she wanted it,” “she was dressed in a provocative way,” or “I didn’t know her” (despite the photographs that show otherwise) victimize the victim and must be eliminated. We have recently witnessed college students who have called out their abusers, only to be threatened and humiliated. These young women are told that the career opportunities of wealthy, abusive men must be protected, while their own lives and dreams don’t matter. Even women who buy into the patriarchal belief system attack women who speak out against abusive men.

---

​Powerful People and Sexual Abuse:  Most recently, we have the Epstein Files, a collection of documents, videos, images, and emails of this convicted child sex offender. Not only was he a personal offender of child sex trafficking, but Jeffrey Epstein also catered to a large social circle that included public figures, politicians, and celebrities. While the public clamors for all the files to be released, the rich and famous are doing all they can to prevent this from happening. It was even said that these files must not be released because they would affect the perpetrators' lives! While there have been consequences for some, most notably ex-Prince Andrew, who was stripped of his royal title, most still have not faced any accountability. On the other hand, some names of victims that were supposed to have been redacted were made public, and some of those victims have received threats. The rich and powerful feel they are entitled to do what they want and to use whomever they want. No wonder why victims of sexual abuse are afraid to report the men who rape and abuse them. Society has to unite to hold all perpetrators accountable for this to change.

What causes women of any age who have been violently attacked and raped to take their own lives? What must they believe to feel that they are the ones who should be punished? We can blame the outside world, and while it deserves that blame, change begins with the microcosm, by changing belief systems from the inside out. 
 
Feelings such as “I did something to deserve this,” “I’m bad or dirty,” or “I am not worth it,” are as old as time. Healing these deep-rooted beliefs and feelings requires sensitivity and care on the part of the therapist. Healing might not begin with looking at the incident, but may need to start with healing the inner child or connecting with inner guides, outer spiritual guidance, or aspects of the personality equipped to face and confront the situation. Often there is cellular DNA and past-life history to heal as well. Sexual abuse, including being both the victim and the perpetrator, is often passed on from generation to generation. A skilled and knowledgeable therapist can help the client to navigate through this complex web and achieve a state of true inner strength and peace, with love and respect for the self.
 
For myself, one of the great blessings of facilitating Transformative Hypnotherapy sessions with clients of abuse is the inter-generational healing that occurs. There is a feeling of profound joy when ancestors come forward with gratitude for the client as healing and release of the abusive patterns free those who have passed over to the other side.
 
While this article was written specifically about women, I would like to note here that acts of sexual abuse and violation are also carried out against boys and men. These acts may be committed by either men or women. 

---

Linda Baker lives in the Seattle, WA area with her husband Tom. She is devoted to her family, clients, and many friends, loves her running club, supporting LGBTQ Community events, and officiating at marriages and other ceremonial activities.  She is an avid gardener and travels widely.  
An R.N. with a psychiatric background, Linda is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Hypnotherapy Trainer/Developer, Spiritual Coach, Author, Speaker, and founder of Transformative Hypnotherapy.  
In private practice for over 40 years, Linda continues to serve clients and teach, both in person and online worldwide.
Click here to learn more.
For individuals considering private sessions, contact Linda through her website:
https://www.innersourceseattle.com/

---